I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Blog.

OK yes, I miss writing in here. OK yes, I said I was gonna write, and I just didn't. Tonight however, I need to write. It's summer. As with every summer since I married the love of my life, my daughters go to another state to spend time with their dad. I know they have fun. I know he needs to see them and spend time with them. I know there's absolutely no good substitute for my children's arms around my neck. I also know the separation breaks my heart every year. Luckily, this summer has gone by pretty quickly. It's almost time to get them and bring them back home. Which brings me to my true reason for needing to write.

When I pick up my daughters, I'll also be spending time with my family. I miss them terribly. However, a visit to the family is always ushered in by a slew of mixed emotions. You see, my father, is an alcoholic. This means many things. One is, that I never really knew him growing up. He was gone a lot, and was "gone" a lot. However, I decided the last couple of years to try and get to know him. I have a very long commute home so we talk a few days a week. As for our phone calls, Forrest Gump couldn't have said it any better with, "...you never know what you're gonna get." Sometimes I call and he's sober, sane and we chat it up about his childhood, gardening and his days in the Army. Sometimes I call and he's three sheets to the wind and I wonder if he even knows who I am.

Without going into detail, I'll just say that my mom suffers the brunt of living with an alcoholic.  It can't be easy for her.  She works a full-time job and Lord only knows what she goes through at home.  I love her deeply, feel sorry for her, and feel completely helpless regarding her situation.  I also love my dad deeply, feel sorry for him, and feel completely helpless regarding his situation.  When I visit, who knows what I will encounter.  If he's sober, he'll feel pretty bad, lay on the couch practically comatose until I leave.  When he's like that, we rarely talk, and not ever about anything significant.  If he's not sober, chances are, I'll be removing myself and my daughters from the situation.  I've written him letters about the power of God's love, but why does it seem there's never a good opportunity to say it to his face?

I lay it ALL at God's feet tonight.

I pray for a miracle.  That my parents will know victory over this awful sickness in their living years.  I pray they'll see how quickly God can heal and how fully He can restore.  He is Greater than man, Greater than the bottle, and Greater than Satan.  'Nuff said.

A few years later...

I miss my blog. It's been so long since I've written, and I miss spilling my guts into the great unknown. There's just some hint of freedom in doing so.

My little family is still chugging along. My daughters and stepson are growing up so fast. They have developed such strong personalities. It's amazing to see them blossoming into these little characters, full of spunk. I roll my eyes at it often, but I admit...deep down, I love it. One day I will miss the spontaneous (sassy) comments that make me giggle when they're not looking.

My husband is just as amazing as a man can be. He loves me deeply, and shows me that love every day. I am very blessed.

I'm not sure how often I will write, but I'd like to do better than I have the past couple of years. Maybe some good memories of the past every now and then, sprinkled with some new moments that I know will turn into good memories as time goes on.

Well, short but sweet. Gotta ease into this. Spilling of guts, though freeing, still needs a period of adjustment.

Cadence's GREAT Decision!!

On Friday, December 4th, my "almost" 6 year old, Cadence, accepted Christ! Her older sister has been a Christian for about a year and a half and we've talked about it a lot, but she just never had any interest of doing anything "right now". I never pushed her because each one of us has to come to that point when we are ready. We went shopping at Lifeway on Friday night and purchased a "Happy Birthday Jesus" packet to donate to a local hospital. In the car, Cadence was asking, "What can you possibly give Jesus?" So I told her the most important thing we can give Him is our life in asking Him to be our Lord and Savior. So after dinner with more discussion, she and I went into her room and we went through the bible and talked about what God gave, what Jesus went through so we could have salvation and what we need to do to accept it. She prayed the prayer and asked Jesus into her heart! I am SO BLESSED to know that both of my baby girls and my step-son have all accepted Christ and have security in eternal salvation! There is no greater joy!!! Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!