Sanka, Ya Dead? Yeah Man.

OK, that was a quote from the movie Cool Runnings if you didn't get the title. But we are becoming defeated. It seems like everyone around me is sick with illness of some sort-myself included. Not only that but 2 people close to me are in the hospital recovering from surgeries. And not only that...2 families I know of are mourning an unexpected loss of a loved one this weekend. And not only that...3 people I know personally and 2 other acquaintances are enduring the suffering of watching someone they love face an eternal illness. What is going to be the next "not only that"? Is it just me? Or are illness and hardship lurking in every corner? I am not trying to be negative as I write this. My faith is strong and no matter what happens, I believe it's all part of God's plan. But we sure seem to be hard headed that God would have to send such pain and suffering to get our attention and I think this is just a glimpse of what is to come. Please don't take that the wrong way. I am not in any way saying that the people suffering have done something disobedient or something horrible to deserve what they are experiencing. What I am trying to say is that I have spoken one on one with several of the folks mentioned above and I am trying to help them realize that we don't know the answers for why God works the way He does. We, as humans, want to question and doubt and blame. All He requires of us in these situations is that we put our faith in Him and we endure the storm. He is in control. He can see the end result. He can see past the pain and suffering and He knows what He is doing. We may never know. That's the difference between how we see it and how He sees it. The timeframe we suffer through, and the blink of an eye it is relation to eternity. We know that's how it works though. The questions we have to ask ourselves are: Are we living a life that glorifies Him no matter what we are facing? That's a hard one for us "Negative Nellies". Are we truly believing there is a divine reason for the hardship? Most importantly, are we trusting and patient enough to let His plan unfold? A passage the guides have the privilege to say in Judgement House is from Revelation chapter 7. It says, "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes." I can't say that without crying. All is said and done, we will suffer no more, we will question no more, we will grieve no more, we will cry no more. Amazing. Are you strong enough to tough it out until God reaches out to you, places his hand on your face, and wipes away every...EVERY tear from your eyes? I can say that I have never experienced the kind of suffering some of these folks are going through. But I pray already-because I know that day will come-that I have the faith and the understanding to endure the storm...for His glory. And I hope I focus on knowing that there will be a day when I will not even remember what pain felt like. I pray for these people I've mentioned, and if you would, please say a prayer for them as well. God knows who they are. Thank you.

The dark has passed.

Cadence is finally over her week-long illness and so far, Kennedy hasn't come down with it. -- Quick!  Everybody knock on wood!--So I think we are safe for now.  

I have decided that it is usually really late (at least for me) when I make posts and I think I become extra sappy the later it gets, so I will try not to get all mushy with this one.  But the truth is, I guess I am a pretty emotional person.  OK, maybe that's not the right words.  Deep feeler/thinker?  I don't know.

I laugh at myself and even had to explain to someone tonight that I have been told -on more than one occasion, by multiple people- that I am "such a dude".  This, meaning in a relationship sense.  Since my divorce, I haven't dated anyone with a true, deep in my heart, intention of it ever becoming more.  Either I am too time limited, or I am terrified, or whatever the reason is, I seem to always find a way to get out of the commitment part.  So on one hand, I do feel like I don't give people a true shot and I might dismiss something good too quickly, but on the other hand, I just don't think I've been given the opportunity with the person who will bring out that desire in me.   So, does this mean I will be a "dude" forever?  Lord, I hope not.  I have the ability to love someone very deeply, and I believe wholeheartedly that true love really exists.  I think I will love again someday...and only God knows when I will be ready for all that.  Let's just pray it's not "never"...cause this dude stuff really bites. :) 

Tell Me 'Bout The Good Old Days...

Cadence has had some trouble this week.  She was sent home from daycare on Monday with a fever, stayed home Tuesday, went back today (Wednesday) only to get sent home again, this time with the fever at 103.4.  After 2 strep tests and crazy fevers, the doctors say it's only a virus, could last up to 5 days, just wait it out.  Just wait it out?  Sure.  No problem.  Thank goodness for Meemaw who agreed to let Cadence come visit tomorrow so I can keep my job!  In advertising, especially when you are the only one in the department, deadlines don't wait for a sick child.  Things like this are just one reason I say we need to stop and go back to the way things were "in the good old days".  People got married and stayed married-each having a vital role in the household.  Each understanding their role and fulfilled it without complaining or expectation of some reward.  That's just the way it was.  People lived in houses and drove cars that they could actually afford.  What a concept!  And if a child got sick, no big deal because the mother was home.  Now, we get ourselves into such high-stress jobs that we can't possibly "leave work" or "take the day off" because we have deadlines or projects that just have to get done.  Even if your poor child is sick and all she wants from you is a day of cuddling and attention.  She deserves it.  But as you know, the world would fall completely apart if we stopped for a minute to actually take some time for ourselves.  That's the way it is now.  That's what we've made it become.  It's our own fault.  Our own selfishness.  We missed the mark.  Had to have more, do more, buy more, earn more, stress more.  Yep, we missed the mark.  It's hard to turn back now, though.  We've gone so far for so long in the wrong direction, I don't know that anybody even knows how to get back to the "good old days."  

I found my mojo

The VCR/DVD Player is up and running. Cadence actually has a second shelf in her closet now. Whether I found a little extra time or just some determination, it's all good. Not great, but little by little, getting there.

Well, it's official. I am an actual "Qualified Pampered Chef Consultant". What does that mean? I submitted my quota in shows and sales for my first month and I am "official". I can keep the apron. I am having a blast with it so far. I get to cook and actually make money doing it. I can't beat that. It's great! And the warm caramel nutty brownies I've been making at my shows aren't half bad either. Anybody got any milk?

Today was back to work as usual. Had to leave early to get Cadence though. The little one is pretty sick. She put her own self to bed at 7, so you know she's gotta be feeling bad. She is my defiant one. The one who won't do ANYTHING unless it is her idea. Sounds like some people I work with! But as headstrong as she is, her heart is in the right place and it's pitiful when one of them gets sick. I wish could just take all of their pain away and endure it for them so they don't have to go through it. But, I am sure there will be many more of those moments in life, where I will wish I had that super power-something a little more than mojo-to protect them from the big bad world, with its big bad problems. But I can't do that. So instead, I am doing the next best thing-teaching them that no matter how big the world may seem, God is so much bigger, and He's got our back. And His mojo blows mine away, any day of the week.

So if you ever get too full of yourself-or even hang your hat on another human-thinking that you did something big or this "person" was your everything, all it takes is a trip to the Creation Museaum to put you back in your place. Their planetarium shows you where earth is in the universe. Where YOU are in the universe. And that is the tiniest of tiniest, little teeney weeney speck in a universe so grand and so intricate, that is hard to even wrap your brain around. Yet He knows every hair on our head, and every thought we think, and every desire of our heart. He is a big, big God yet He knows us intimately. He knows ME. But what does that mean? That we don't need to worry about anything at all because we are so tiny in the big plan that it doesn't matter? Of course not. Even though we are that teeney weeney speck...all it takes is one person to count on us and for us to let them down, or say or not say the right or wrong thing to someone, for us to get the other side of that equation and see just how big we can be, and how much our actions and words can influence others. All that said...Love each other. Tell each other. Get over things. Say you're sorry when you've hurt someone. Put it in perspective. If we don't, I fear that the only thing that will radiate from our tiny little planet as God glances over His Universe, is hurting people. Let's give Him a reason to smile. He gives us reasons every day. The sunrise, the mountains, the smile of someone we love...really, it's the least we can do for Him.