Sanka, Ya Dead? Yeah Man.

OK, that was a quote from the movie Cool Runnings if you didn't get the title. But we are becoming defeated. It seems like everyone around me is sick with illness of some sort-myself included. Not only that but 2 people close to me are in the hospital recovering from surgeries. And not only that...2 families I know of are mourning an unexpected loss of a loved one this weekend. And not only that...3 people I know personally and 2 other acquaintances are enduring the suffering of watching someone they love face an eternal illness. What is going to be the next "not only that"? Is it just me? Or are illness and hardship lurking in every corner? I am not trying to be negative as I write this. My faith is strong and no matter what happens, I believe it's all part of God's plan. But we sure seem to be hard headed that God would have to send such pain and suffering to get our attention and I think this is just a glimpse of what is to come. Please don't take that the wrong way. I am not in any way saying that the people suffering have done something disobedient or something horrible to deserve what they are experiencing. What I am trying to say is that I have spoken one on one with several of the folks mentioned above and I am trying to help them realize that we don't know the answers for why God works the way He does. We, as humans, want to question and doubt and blame. All He requires of us in these situations is that we put our faith in Him and we endure the storm. He is in control. He can see the end result. He can see past the pain and suffering and He knows what He is doing. We may never know. That's the difference between how we see it and how He sees it. The timeframe we suffer through, and the blink of an eye it is relation to eternity. We know that's how it works though. The questions we have to ask ourselves are: Are we living a life that glorifies Him no matter what we are facing? That's a hard one for us "Negative Nellies". Are we truly believing there is a divine reason for the hardship? Most importantly, are we trusting and patient enough to let His plan unfold? A passage the guides have the privilege to say in Judgement House is from Revelation chapter 7. It says, "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes." I can't say that without crying. All is said and done, we will suffer no more, we will question no more, we will grieve no more, we will cry no more. Amazing. Are you strong enough to tough it out until God reaches out to you, places his hand on your face, and wipes away every...EVERY tear from your eyes? I can say that I have never experienced the kind of suffering some of these folks are going through. But I pray already-because I know that day will come-that I have the faith and the understanding to endure the storm...for His glory. And I hope I focus on knowing that there will be a day when I will not even remember what pain felt like. I pray for these people I've mentioned, and if you would, please say a prayer for them as well. God knows who they are. Thank you.

The dark has passed.

Cadence is finally over her week-long illness and so far, Kennedy hasn't come down with it. -- Quick!  Everybody knock on wood!--So I think we are safe for now.  

I have decided that it is usually really late (at least for me) when I make posts and I think I become extra sappy the later it gets, so I will try not to get all mushy with this one.  But the truth is, I guess I am a pretty emotional person.  OK, maybe that's not the right words.  Deep feeler/thinker?  I don't know.

I laugh at myself and even had to explain to someone tonight that I have been told -on more than one occasion, by multiple people- that I am "such a dude".  This, meaning in a relationship sense.  Since my divorce, I haven't dated anyone with a true, deep in my heart, intention of it ever becoming more.  Either I am too time limited, or I am terrified, or whatever the reason is, I seem to always find a way to get out of the commitment part.  So on one hand, I do feel like I don't give people a true shot and I might dismiss something good too quickly, but on the other hand, I just don't think I've been given the opportunity with the person who will bring out that desire in me.   So, does this mean I will be a "dude" forever?  Lord, I hope not.  I have the ability to love someone very deeply, and I believe wholeheartedly that true love really exists.  I think I will love again someday...and only God knows when I will be ready for all that.  Let's just pray it's not "never"...cause this dude stuff really bites. :) 

Tell Me 'Bout The Good Old Days...

Cadence has had some trouble this week.  She was sent home from daycare on Monday with a fever, stayed home Tuesday, went back today (Wednesday) only to get sent home again, this time with the fever at 103.4.  After 2 strep tests and crazy fevers, the doctors say it's only a virus, could last up to 5 days, just wait it out.  Just wait it out?  Sure.  No problem.  Thank goodness for Meemaw who agreed to let Cadence come visit tomorrow so I can keep my job!  In advertising, especially when you are the only one in the department, deadlines don't wait for a sick child.  Things like this are just one reason I say we need to stop and go back to the way things were "in the good old days".  People got married and stayed married-each having a vital role in the household.  Each understanding their role and fulfilled it without complaining or expectation of some reward.  That's just the way it was.  People lived in houses and drove cars that they could actually afford.  What a concept!  And if a child got sick, no big deal because the mother was home.  Now, we get ourselves into such high-stress jobs that we can't possibly "leave work" or "take the day off" because we have deadlines or projects that just have to get done.  Even if your poor child is sick and all she wants from you is a day of cuddling and attention.  She deserves it.  But as you know, the world would fall completely apart if we stopped for a minute to actually take some time for ourselves.  That's the way it is now.  That's what we've made it become.  It's our own fault.  Our own selfishness.  We missed the mark.  Had to have more, do more, buy more, earn more, stress more.  Yep, we missed the mark.  It's hard to turn back now, though.  We've gone so far for so long in the wrong direction, I don't know that anybody even knows how to get back to the "good old days."