The dark has passed.

Cadence is finally over her week-long illness and so far, Kennedy hasn't come down with it. -- Quick!  Everybody knock on wood!--So I think we are safe for now.  

I have decided that it is usually really late (at least for me) when I make posts and I think I become extra sappy the later it gets, so I will try not to get all mushy with this one.  But the truth is, I guess I am a pretty emotional person.  OK, maybe that's not the right words.  Deep feeler/thinker?  I don't know.

I laugh at myself and even had to explain to someone tonight that I have been told -on more than one occasion, by multiple people- that I am "such a dude".  This, meaning in a relationship sense.  Since my divorce, I haven't dated anyone with a true, deep in my heart, intention of it ever becoming more.  Either I am too time limited, or I am terrified, or whatever the reason is, I seem to always find a way to get out of the commitment part.  So on one hand, I do feel like I don't give people a true shot and I might dismiss something good too quickly, but on the other hand, I just don't think I've been given the opportunity with the person who will bring out that desire in me.   So, does this mean I will be a "dude" forever?  Lord, I hope not.  I have the ability to love someone very deeply, and I believe wholeheartedly that true love really exists.  I think I will love again someday...and only God knows when I will be ready for all that.  Let's just pray it's not "never"...cause this dude stuff really bites. :)